E.P.
“With the help of group therapy, I learned that I have a disease in which to arrest, I have to stay clean from drugs and alcohol. I prayed on a daily basis that I could gain some acceptance that a happy life does not consist of cheap pleasures and a quick fix. This new way of life was given to me as a second chance. I was previously in critical condition. I tried to take my own life as I couldn’t take the pain of heroin withdrawals. I took a bottle of blood pressure medication hoping that it would do the job. I gave up on life and couldn’t find a reason to live anymore. In fear that I would not die from overdose, I severed my left radial vein and right brachial artery. I suffered from brain injury due to lack of oxygen and lost 3/4 of total blood volume. Flat lining twice and for a period of fourteen minutes, my brain received no oxygen. There was little hope for a life without mechanical ventilation or a response to any stimuli.
Miraculously, I was weaned off of a ventilator and began to respond to commands such as “blink twice for ‘yes’”, wiggle your toes”, “Squeeze my hand”. Shortly after, I was wheelchair bound working on speech and occupational therapy. A month later, I was walking with a cane for the assistance of my left side. Due to dysphasia, my speech was muffled and slow. I had swallow precautions due to the risk of choking on my own saliva my peripheral vision was poor and my depth perception was two dimensional. It was frustrating to get dressed every day. Writing was a challenge because I lost the dexterity in my fingers. A cognitive skills test showed a loss in my short term memory. The chance to regain it was slim. My I.Q remained above normal but I couldn’t bear the fact that I looked and talked like a handicapped person. My dreams of becoming a nurse were crushed. I graduated from nursing school before this incident occurred, but I didn’t think it was a realistic goal to prepare for my state boards. It is, after all, a requirement to have good communication skills, excellent fine motor skills and good memory. Most importantly, I didn’t think pursuing a career in taking care of patients was altruistic for someone with addictive tendencies, like me. In addition to the physical and mental disabilities, I had emotional insecurities, as well. I suffered from untreated chronic depression for thirteen years. I would self medicate with any mind altering substances. My whole life consisted of periodic traumas. Both parents were abusive alcoholics and one of them died when I was nineteen. Episodes included bankruptcy, death by suicide, violent street crimes and molestation by a family member. Co-dependant relationships and drug use was the way I knew how to cope with my past. Drug use was the only means of comfort I was familiar with, especially when experimenting with needle use. I’ve been told numerous times that my life did resemble the Jerry Springer show, or a soap opera to be polite. Read the rest of this entry »
As the world’s top golfers head to the U.S. Open in Pebble Beach this weekend, our thoughts turn to how Brainwave Optimization™ has proven to be an effective method for helping golfers get in the zone.
